Reasons why I will never drink again*.
- Required Happy Pill frowns upon Happy Drinks.
- Dancing like delusional twat in middle of
dance floorempty room.
- When squating for necessary wee (because, tch, it’s a public restroom) and suddenly tilting slightly forward (because, tch, I’m drunk), Happy Drinks abruptly decided how fun it’d be to obey gravity.
- On skirt.
- In toilet bowl.
- Care in Not Touching Anything For The Love Of God Oh Please goes, quite literally, down the drains. *cries & shudders*
- Feeling bad for making mess in restroom and delaying closing time, cleaned up after self and apologised profusely like nobby pest.
- After congratulating self for successfully stumbling to bed without puking through nose, neglected to wash makeup off face and woke up with left eye looking like this.
- Having Asian blood.
* Or at least in a very, very long while. Duh.