you're so vain

Okay. So one of the reasons why i have actually started this blog was to be more open. Put more of me out there, so to speak. "First the Blogosphere, then the Real World!" kind of thing. It's a first step in any case, as small as it is. Ergo, eventhough i am gnawing my insides as i type these words, leaving the last post unchanged nor deleted is done so in line of that attempt. It will shamelessly be there to be stared & pointed at should anyone foolishly stumble here (that's you, you lucky person you).

Also, in the same spirit, and since frankly i really am that self-indulgent, i present to you without further ado, Me, 100 things of. Oh rejoyce blog world!

1. I am not a morning person. That is not to say i am a night person either.
   
   
2. The first contact with hot coffee in the morning is my most cherished moment of the day (despite that it always - always! - friggin burns my tongue when i drink it. Every rose has its thorn [feel free to proceed into a rocking air guitar solo]).
   
   
3. I hate cats [cat-lovers not included]. I abhor them just as i abhor any hypocritical, manipulative, hairy creatures that cause my respiratory system to swell & eyes to tear up. I comfort myself in knowing that this feeling is mutual.
   
   
4. I am desperately vain. I'd still adorn perfect hair even when i think life is not worth living - if you're going to leave this world, might as well go out looking fabulous, i say.
   
   
5. I love my music. Now, most people believe they are themselves 'big music lovers', 'are obsessed with music', 'music is their lives', that sort of bullshit on stilts that most probably indicates how they possess a more knowledgable & acute taste in music that i could ever aspire to but that is not exactly what i mean. I mean, i have relationships with my music. [cue in soft instrumental of 'Love Story'].
   
   My first serious relationship was with Coldplay, pure & innocently profound, which obviously could not last very long. After a year, it was followed by an intensely close & obsessive two-year romance with The Strokes. Toward its last blissful days, feeling complacent & entrapped, i madly flirted with Franz Ferdinand until it became blatant cheating. The Strokes & I finally parted in amicable terms [i still think they are smashing, and despite what some might say, their third album rocks the shit, man!] as i went galavanting ahead in the subversive fun frivolity i've always dreamed of for another two years or so. During this time, i've gotten intimately acquainted with The Rapture, Razorlight, Ambulance Ltd, TV On the Radio, Muse, etcetera, until slowly but surely i fell head over heels deeply in love with Interpol. Alas, it turned out to be one of those unrequited affairs that bruised & beautifully wrecked me to the core (i still cannot listen to them when i am feeling too low in myself).
   
   And that is what i mean when i say i love my music.
   
   
6. Some have argued that i am slightly mad. Or, as a past bedfellow sweetly put, 'funny in the head'.
   
   
7. I have a British accent [apologies here to all Brits as said 'accent' of mine is piercingly & offensively gruesome] when i'm...er...illegally intoxicated.
   
   
8. Like any innocent North American girl, i have a soft spot for accents. Any accents. The Indian-English accent in particular is most effective in causing my brain to short-circuit due to its uber brilliance.
   
   
9. I am a born Canadian from Vietnamese origins who loves olf American movies, French literature and - as #7 and #8 implies - Anglo-Saxons. Globalization rocks my world.
   
   
10. I am a faghag.
    
    
11. I wear glasses and don't want to fix that.
    
    
12. I have crooked teeth and don't want to fix that either.
    
    
13. I probably am 'potbellied', 'paunchy', 'one-size-too-big-for-a-twig' now that we're at it, but am too lazy to care/fix that as well.
    
    
14. I am generally a lazy bum.
    
    
15. I am a Marathon Eater (as oppose to a Sprint Eater or a Mass Eater), and can eat non-stop for 5 hours straight.
    
    
16. My Asian blood causes me to turn red by half of my first glass of wine.
    
    
17. I have a sister 8 years my senior, and though we are quite different, she has really become my best-friend (admittedly not without some hefty work). It is as surprisingly pleasant & corny as it sounds.
    
    
18. I have always wanted to have an older brother. Which is probably why i mostly have male friends. I think boys are funny. Much funnier than my sister, in any case [still love her though].
    
    
19. I'm a Scorpio. As a self-proclaimed rational girl, i obviously don't believe any of this astrology crap. Tch. But...strangely, most of what i've read about Scorpios have been true. Coincidentally...
    
    
20. ...I have a tattoo of a Scorpio sign.
    
    
21. I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, and in honour of my Twelve-Year-Old Self, i never will.
    
    
22. I have two [main] alteregos: the aforementioned Twelve-Year-Old, a little hardass feminist Commi who constantly reminds me what a disappointment i turn out to be. She has a whip. My Seventeen-Year-Old Self is a quiet anarchist in love & war. She carries a gas tank & hides matches in her pockets. She's really the nicer one. Most of the time.
    
    
23. I am more fluent in French. Until i set foot in a French community.
    
    
24. The only subconscious psychological trait i seem to take from my ethnic background is that i'm really but a submissive little Asian girl who asks nothing else than to be subdued.
    
    
25. I'm the aunty to a fat imaginary Japanese kid named Geosu adopted by my friend, J. I will teach him to become an assassin.
    
    
26. I grew up watching epic kung-fu movies in lieu of Disney's fairy tales.
    
    
27. I appropriate various things Asian, and looking like an Asian myself, i feel i have shameless right to it.
    
    
28. I fear the Vietnamese community like leprosy.
    
    
29. I love taking long hot showers & the extensive pampering that ensues (which involves massive rubbing of creams and touching of myself [cf. #4]).
    
    
30. My mount Everest is Africa. If i can go there, and come back sane, i would consider myself as 'Made It' in this lifetime.
    
    
31. I don't believe everything happens for a reason. I believe things are much more complicated than it always is. I don't believe in God, Allah, Shiva et al. nor do i believe in Destiny. I do believe Jesus & Bouddha kicked major arses.
    
    
32. I don't want to have children.
    
    
33. ....But in some warped alternate fantastical life where i do, i'd name them Jude, Sadie & Prudence. So when they grow up, they can say 'yeah, our mum was kinda crazy about The Beatles'...
    
    
34. I have unresolved issues with Fear, Guilt, Patience and Trust. And Commitment. But i'm working on that last one.
    
    
35. I don't like raisins, celery, beans, peas, cauliflower or olives. Even less when mixed together.
    
    
36. I also do not eat duck due to a summer spent at my aunt & uncle's house at the tender age of 11, involving - among warm fond memories - the slaughter of the bird in the name of culinary refinement. I can still hear its muffled cries at night.
    
    
37. I am secretely engaging a war against cell phones.
    
    
38. For some reason unbeknownst to me, i am entranced by creamy textures, be it liquid cement or melted chocolate. Iused to beat eggwhites with sugar when i was but a wee child just to marvel at the languid transformation, and then ate it - uncooked, because i didn't quite know how yet. I was sick for three days. I don't do that anymore. Obviously.
    
    
39. I work part-time as a 'waitress'. The quotes are to indicate, apologetically, to all other real waiters how i seriously suck at it. However, i am grateful to have somehow managed to keep this job thus far.
    
    
40. There's nothing that annoys me more [barely beating over unflushed public toilets and gushy soap when water was not emptied out from the soap tray... oh! and when you find hair in the tub! *shudder* ] than dining with a Can-I-Have-The-Salad-Dressing-On-The-Side-Without-The-Lettuce-Or-Any-Vegetables and While-You're-At-It-Can-You-Change-The-Chicken-To-A-Filet-With-No-Sauce and Make-The-Waiter-Do-Headflips-As-Fast-As-He-Can-With-My-Food-For-I-Have-Piercingly-Urgent-Things-To-Do-Because-I-Am-The-Queen-Of-The-Fucking-Universe person who NEVER finishes her plate anyway as she's on a DIET! Grr. (Ahem - not that i have anyone in particular in mind...)
    
    
41. I don't usually whine. I do it here because... I don't usually whine.
    
    
42. My mum used to say that for every grain of rice that we did not finish in our bowl, it was to turn into a larvae for us to feast upon in the afterlife. As a direct result of this, i always finish my rice. Oh, and um, i don't like to waste... (But mostly the larvae thing.)
    
    
43. I would like to live in Melbourne, Australia one day.
    
    
44. I have penis envy.
    
    
45. I'm strangely attracted to the nerdy/geeky types.
    
    
46. I tend to become actively aggressive with passive-aggresives.
    
    
47. If you make me laugh, i am YOURS.
    
    
48. Despite my best efforts, i hold grudges for a very long time.
    
    
49. Audrey Hepburn is my goddess.
    
    
50. When i was growing up, i wanted to be a jewel thief.
    
    
51. When i realized that woud require a minimum of physical dexterity, i opted for plan B: open a brothel.
    
    
52. The Religious Right scare the begesus out of me.
    
    
53. I have to press all the bubbles on plastic cup covers before i drink from it.
    
    
54. I love heights: i love climbing trees, being on airplanes & on top of mountains.
    
    
55. I go a wee bit psychopathologically angry when it is sunny and/or hot for more than four days straight. Which i understand can be a bit of a problem for #43.
    
    
56. I love interior design, and cannot help from redecorating in my head all the houses/appartments i visit as if they were mine. And then, i pretend i live there.
    
    
57. I dream of singing in a karaoke bar, or on Broadway.
    
    
58. I cannot sing.
    
    
59. Nothing makes me feel sexier than good hair & a pair of matching undies. Unfortunately, only i seem to notice these rare phenomena.
    
    
60. I would like to play the cello.
    
    
61. My name in Vietnamese means 'happiness [bringing/sign of]'. Oh the irony.
    
    
62. I had a crush on Mickey Mouse when i was 7, and adorned his iconic print on the sides of my glasses. Even i don't want to analyse this one.
    
    
63. I can develop strong obsessive emotional attachment to fictitious people's lives. Especially those in Oz.
    
    
64. My dreams often involve me being chased by, or chasing something or someone. You'd think they don't mean anything, would you?
    
    
65. I love moving & cleaning.
    
    
66. I would like to be incinerated [once i'm dead, preferably].
    
    
67. And in these fabulous can't-really-afford-on-my-student-budget brown leather boots that i got last year for my birthday. I believe that in the right footwear, i can kick ass in any realm.
    
    
68. I don't take compliments very well, though i'm learning to. Due in no small part to this one i received from my high school English teacher (aka mentor & savior) who lent me this: "You are a perfect jewel. For the truly wonderful it just takes a while to find the right setting and you...my dear...are a multifaceted jewel". *sigh*
    
    
69. Apparently, i attract the mad.
    
    
70. I love the sound of wind through tree tops.
    
    
71. I love thunderstorms & snowstorms.
    
    
72. I love a lot of things very easily & passionately. I wish it was as simple to fall in love.
    
    
73. I would like to time-travel.
    
    
74. The word 'penetration' arouses me.
    
    
75. I do not have a social filter, which is perhaps the main cause to generally embarrasing occurances in my presence. Often, at my expense.
    
    
76. I wish that would bother me more. Honestly.
    
    
77. I just can't be bothered.
    
    
78. My criminal career began a little before the age of 2, when i shoplifted a little stuffed dog, hid it in my trolley, and waited until we were safe outside to cheerfully show my mum my bounty. She was both horrified & proud.
    
    
79. When I was in elementary school, i lied, skipped class, faked my mum's signature. No one knew, no one suspected. That was also the moment when i realized looking like a good Asian girl has its upside.
    
    
80. I did not enjoy it though. Fiendishly proud but not something i liked - especially the lying part. Ergo, i stopped aforementioned behaviours when i entered high school. Am really a good conventional girl at heart (though such talent can never truly go away, can it? mouahahahaAHAHAHA...ahem.)
    
    
81. I cannot whistle, ride a bike without holding the handles, drive a car, and follow a plan.
    
    
82. I tend to dwell in insignificant things a tad too much.
    
    
83. If i get a pet dog, i would name it Bob. Just because i don't know anyone named Bob. And i enjoy saying, 'BOB! STOP SHAGGING THAT LOG!'.
    
    
84. Ostensibly, i look like my mum and have my dad's character.
    
    
85. I generally prefer salty food to sweets.
    
    
86. Yet dark chocolate & milk wins every battle.
    
    
87. I don't like Spring.
    
    
88. I sometime talk & laugh to myself in public. And then laugh at myself for talking & laughing to myself.
    
    
89. I also break out in song & dance. But that's only when i think no one notices...
    
    
90. I wanted to be named Sacha were i a spy.
    
    
91. I never had a serious boyfriend, having only recently been able to say the word 'boyfriend' without shuddering in utter fear being one of the [many] reasons for lack thereof.
    
    
92. My skin is cursed: i scar very easily, and occuring scars hatefully never heal.
    
    
93. I am allergic to mosquito bites. They won't kill me but due to Cursed Skin, some might think i was infected by a fatal skin disease.
    
    
94. I despise mosquitoes. Even more than cats. D-E-S-P-I-S-E!
    
    
95. I don't pick up the telephone when i don't know who it is. And as with every passing day i am ever so closer to perfect my extrasensory perceptiveness, please leave a message after the tone.
    
    
96. I am a closet egotistical hypochondriac. And a self-diagnosed paranoid.
    
    
97. I get sad when i approach the end of a good book, regardless of whether it is itself sad or not.
    
    
98. I've had the Depression (really) for 6 years now. I prefer thinking of it as having an uninvited bitterly pessimistic aunt around all the time. Sometime she's asleep, sometime she's a bitch.
    
    
99. I can't believe finding one hundred things about me can be so goddamn hard...
    
    
100. As J pointed out when we were both... er, illegally intoxicated, i am 'annoyingly interesting'. I added the interesting part.