Wednesday, October 17, 2007

our faces split the coast in half

For the few weeks that I have been in Britain, I have (in chronological order):

  • Bathed with centipedes;

  • Moved five times;

  • For the first time in my life, been stung by a wasp – twice, in the same day;

  • For the first time in my life, been punched in the face in front of my flat, woke up in the hospital with a concussion, memory loss, smashed sinuses and a broken cheekbone, wondering why people here say ‘hospital’ without putting an article before and impressed that I was able to text on my mobile without any spelling mistakes;

  • Spent two nights in [the] hospital with a polite little senile woman pleadingly crying to go home and a lady who wants to get in contact with Whitney Houston’s aunt who was going to tell her where Heaven is;

  • Moved again. For reasons unnecessarily undisclosed;

  • Met The Sweetest of Men;

  • Been hit by a car and sent flying to the ground with a scratch on my elbow and a sore bum, incredulously;

  • Understood the comfort of this whole Tea-And-Biscuits-In-The-Afternoon Thing;

  • Actually liked a cat;

  • Requestioned my entire self-concept [due in no small part to above-mentioned point];

  • Shagged so much my abs ache and legs can barely hold themselves up;

  • Become comfortably accepting in deluding and ignoring my Fear of Relationships;

  • Had a panic attack [due in no small part to above-mentioned point];

  • Quit two jobs;

  • Been wondering for the 472nd time what the fuck I am doing here;

  • And really hoping that all my bad karma has been paid for...

... And how have you been?


Pomgirl said...

Um..well obviously I'm thrilled that you found a cat to like, but my happiness was slightly overshadowed by What The Fuck?

After being run over and beaten up, surely the rest of your time will be filled with sunshine and lollipops and more tea and biscuits?

Take care, Miss V. There is a curazy family in Leeds with a spare bed should you ever be desperate enough!


vapidly vibrant said...

Thank you, Miss Pom.

I am indeed completely taken by this tea 'tradition' and sometimes even prefer it to - dare i say it - coffee! I know, 'What The Fuck' seems to be my mantra as of late...:)