Wednesday, June 20, 2007

ice cream

Have you ever had one of those crap days that starts out with shit hair only to degenerate from there? Where all the busy plans you set out to do miserably go to the dogs because of painfully little annoying details, and it all ends up being utterly useless, g'ddamit?! So you think "hey, this certainly calls for some retail therapy!" yet NOTHING quite does the trick, and once you find something remotely cute it is so wickedly overpriced that by the time you get to the counter you stomp off bitterly as there is no possible way you can spend 50$ on a dress you're not really even in love with!? And on top of that little hot sundae, every single two-legged specimen walking in front of you is somehow so piercingly eager to be competing in a snail race & keeping you from pacing in the rhythm of the music that keeps you so thinly sane thus far that at the last possible minute on your way home from a completely wasted day, you decide to jump out from the metro wagon just as it is closing its doors, resulting in you struggling to pull half of your body out with all remaining flesh while passengers' eyes are on the amusing aping spectacle that you've become, just to go watch the comical [and hopefully putting-life-in-perspecive] relief Knocked Up, but where, of course, upon your arrival, you have missed the entire previews [or your favorite part of going to the movies - aside sitting alone in the dark for two hours, you crazy person you], bc the nice little lady in front you at the candy store WANTED A REFUND FOR AN EMPTY LOLLY BAG, and when you finally settle into your seat with enough snuck in chocolate to make Willy Wonka murderously jealous, you realise that you're sitting next to deaf grannies who need to repeat EVERYTHING back WRONGLY to one another, AND WHAT THE HELL ARE GRANNIES DOING WATCHING FREAKIN' KNOCKED THE FREAK UP ANYWAY?!!

*breathes*

However, as you are positively a most easygoing & gentlest of creatures, you gracefully let it all ride over you and concentrate on the absolute hotness of Katherine Heigl & the uber deliciousness that is Paul Rudd, and behold! fifteen minutes in and you're already laughing and [almost] forgetting your lousy day away! Yay! And then you come out in the new light of the evening sun with the feeling that, "y'know, life is shit, and life doesn't give a damn that you've made plans, but all you can do is just... deal with it!" Huz-zah! (With a little 'Oh', as you needed a Hollywood movie to remind you of that.)

So, yeah, you deal. With a double scoop of chocolate-chocolate-chips ice cream in a dark-chocolate-dipped-chocolate-waffle cone. And if a bad day can be solved by a double scoop of chocolate-chocolate-chips ice cream in a dark-chocolate-dipped-chocolate-waffle cone, then it's not that bad of a day after all, is it peepster(s)? I thought so.

Carry on, then.

7 comments:

Rosanna said...

Haighs chocolate is the only thing that ever makes me feel even remotely better.

But I sympathise. Your bad days sound just like mine.

Stephane said...

It was also a crappy day when I saw Knocked-up...

In fact, I had mixed feelings between 'going there' or getting wasted at McGibbins with too much stout beer and Baileys.

I took option A, got myself a headache because of the stupidness of the couple seated in front of me but at least I had a great break from my life with, like you said, the hotness of miss Hegel (whom I was awaiting ever since Bride of Chucky) and the ever dirty dialogues of every day laugh genius Seth Roegen

And I can't help it, Judd Appatow's wife (sister in law in the movie) is good god awesome.

Have a good one V...let the long week-end begin...

Boo said...

Oh my I long to see that crappy flick. It looks fably girly. And i long for an icecream that choclately, I don't think they make 'em that good over here.

OUr cinema-going experiences are eerily similar. I trotted along to see Ocean's 13 the other weekend and wandered in a daze around the food hall, looking for something edible. I found something food-like, then in desperation ordered a coffee from Gloria Jean's, don't hate me please.

Then waited a good 15 minutes to receive it! Thus missing most of aforementioned enjoyable ads and previews!!! Movie sensational, but other cinema-goers woefully unaware that complete HUSH is required when Clooney hoves into view.

Pfft.

Steph said...

Days like that you should just stay in bed with Vodka and chocolate and a vibrator with fresh batteries.

vapidly vibrant said...

Rosanna, chocolate is the universal healer. I shiver fearfully thinking of the day Cortès could have failed to arrive to Mesoamerica and commercialised the bloody hell out of it. (Just wished he didn't have to kill everybody in the process though. I'll have some Lindt chocolate to make me feel better now.)

Hullo Monsieur Stéphane! I did not know the sister was Appatow's wife! She is indeed hilarious. And i loved the bouncer scene!

Miss Boo, it really is a lovely flick! That is if you like that kinda of 40-Year-Old Virgin humour. Which i do. Because i am actually 13 years old.
Ouh, and i can't wait until George et al. comes out on dvd where i can freely and shamelessly drool and make very inappropriate remarks and/or sounds without the company of his other ladeez suiters!

Oh Steph! If only i had known! *fists to the skies*
(But thanks for reminding me to buy new batteries.)

gorgondoza said...

wow, you write really good (like, yeah, uhm, like)... no, for realz!

that was pure insanity... you gotta channel that more often... it's so riveting!

ps: and why is it you never wait for me to post before you post... i know you secretly hate me... well i (not-so-) secretly hate you too... NIARGH! (a la Duckman)

vapidly vibrant said...

*sprinkles holy water from a dusting wand to ward away hate*

Thanks babes! (somehow i did denote a compliment in there somewhere, yeah?...*cries*)

And do you mean... i haven't been channeling enough insanity?! o_O